Eternal Purgatory

I am a mild tidal wave in a tsunami of unrealised potential
My hopes and dreams are shipwrecked on the beach of opportunities
The verb in me is sea sick yet there is no motion

The fabric of my essence was weaved with ambition and possibilities

I used to be bound immaculately in glistening threads of potential

The more I polished, the more my future would shine

I would labour long and hard to give birth to my dreams

My perspiration would give my ebony skin a new layer of determination and in my mind’s eye my path was set

I was drunk on what I was going to become and no amount of deviation would sober me from my intoxication

But as life would have it, the fabric of my essence wore out

The threads loosened, and my future slowly dimmed out

I could no longer conceive and I lay barren in a bed scattered with disappointment

The blood of my dead dreams staining the sheets

What am I to become when my present tense died in my past tense

I am a mild tidal wave in a tsunami of unrealised potential

My hopes and dreams are shipwrecked on the beach of opportunities

The verb in me is sea sick yet there is no motion

I personify stagnation, ambition dead in a grave of non-action

I am the coffin, the mourners and the funeral procession

There is no heaven for my dreams

My ambition is destined to a fate worse than hell: Eternal Purgatory

Ebb and flow

At the peak of your pleasure, is my climax

The ebb and flow of my body going lax

Laced with sin and delight

Fuck yeah, that’s right

Our fingers intertwine

I had too much wine

I’m not sober

It’s not over

I want you

Now

Right now

With your desire

And my tongue twirling around your man fire

A flame, burn my sensibility

And with your tongue tease my sensitivity

Touch me there

Then lick me everywhere

When

When the throws of passion lead to life long regression, it makes for regrets.

When your sorrows dwell and you pray for tomorrow because today overwhelms with all that was not.

When you’re being the person you see in your enemies.

When you are Satan’s conduit pipe and your sorrow is his very delight.

When the air you breathe seems like your greatest burden.

When there’s no hope to positivity and darkness is your only light.

When your love of hate has worn out the enthusiasm of joy.

When your fears plague every thought of success.

When your yes has become a constant no.

That is your time of death.

New life awaits you in an existence invigorated by opportunity.

You are the world and the world is yours.

That is when.

I look forward to right now

I look forward to right now and revel in the memories of the present.

Every second of every moment tastes like the sweet nectar of life’s pleasures.

Many have woken up dead never to rouse to the future of their past.

I look forward to making every present moment last.

As an expectant mother carrying the very seed that perpetuates life anticipates right now,

I anticipate this very time.

As her belly swells she relives every instant before it has come to fruition.

It’s almost a déjà vu you never knew as you embody life’s intuition.

I foresee a time in the present moment when everything is alright.

When happiness and content consummate a reality you cannot fathom even as it happens.

A time foretold in the now that is inconceivable even to fortune tellers.

Propelled forth by the actuality of destiny’s propellers.

I look forward to right now and the present tense of my past participle.

To act as a verb even when I exemplify a proper noun.

To remain in the moment of the current and commemorate each waking instant.

I stay in the past and reside in a future where, always, I look forward to right now.

I Do Not Weep

I do not weep for generations past

I weep for traditions that for long won’t last

It seems the future is bleak

The young have morals far too weak

 

I don’t not fear for a childhood that was

I fear for the childhood that makes no fuss

To play outside and climb up trees

But instead is brainwashed by the digital images it sees

 

The world is turning on itself and we are to blame

Using religion to kill in His name

I do not cry for the time we once had

I cry for the violence that makes humanity sad

 

Times ahead are grim at best

Girls ballooned with implants in their chest

I do not regret the natural beauty we used to hail

I regret the plastic look that seems to prevail

 

I do not beg for handouts or charity

I beg for a better world of clarity

So my children can know the reality that was mine

Maybe send them there or give them a sign

 

The future ahead I did not fear

Until it was close, its repulsiveness far too clear

Wishing upon wish that it was not so near

But alas, the future is here

 

I do not weep for generations past

I weep for traditions that for long won’t last

Peace and tranquillity have all died

And to a constant fright, I am tied

 

The world is shallow and the disaster is deep

And for that, I weep and weep.

Philophobia

Love is not a utopian ideal to which I subscribe

My scars are too many for hope to survive

I threw myself away in a ditch of despair

He hurt me so bad and didn’t even care

The pain that tore through me, are you even aware

So I took it upon myself to wrap up my heart

Wrapped tight and secure, no one would know where to start

To hurt again in a world so dark

Is not a journey to which I will embark

He hurt me so bad and left an indelible mark

See not my sadness for I am ok

I am not weak for I was not made that way

I hate that I was swept up in the rapture

And exposed my fragile heart for capture

My blood vessels over love will never rupture

I gave

I loathe the day I set eyes on you and foolishly gave you the inner most part of me

Like a child who eagerly shared, I gave and gave

I haemorrhaged emotion and sacrifice and gave and gave

Foolishly, I gave and gave

Just the other day I wondered why I felt so hollow

As if I do not have a centre, a core or a soul

How come morbid thoughts echo inside me as if I am an empty vessel

You have hulled me

I realised too late that I gave too much

I gave and I gave